No big surprises this Sunday morning

Last night, I walked into the back alley and saw Officer Porrata scrutinizing an (alleged) pisser's license. "Where did you say you were coming from?"

"Uh, way over on Clark Street, Sir, at The Wiener's Circle. I was just walking through here."

"Uh, no," I said. "I just saw you in front of MaxBar not 10 minutes ago, mister. He's lying to you, Officer."

"No, honest, I'm not!"

But that's hardly unusual here. I pointed to my neighbor's garage; the entire driveway was wet with what must have been gallons of urine (I'll prove it with candid video next week). "Did you do all that?!"

"Ha, no, I swear, I was just walking through..."

Officer Porrata let him go. Punish one pisser? What's the point? Another 20 will come tomorrow. I bundled a blanket and a pillow into the car and slept in Vi Daley's neighborhood, where it's quiet. (Really, I did. I slept very well. I've started doing that on Friday and Saturday nights.)

This morning I saw in Oz Park that some clowns had pulled down branches on not one...

but two trees in the parkway. The lady passing with her poodle was surprised when I explained that there had been no lightning last night, that humans did this. But don't be surprised, not here in Lincoln Park after midnight. I've seen people chop down entire trees here on the sly. A couple of years ago, an entire 35-foot city-planted Elm was chopped down in the middle of the night right in front of the very busy Soiree sleezebar at 2438 N. Lincoln. Just a day before the Taste of Lincoln Avenue! That's a crime. Could it have to do with the fact that the tree was totally obscuring the bar's beautiful sign? So, since Ald. Daley and the 19th District did absolutely nothing about that, I can't imagine anyone's going to be very concerned about this.

Oh, here's another little gift, a sign knocked over on Lincoln Avenue. No car impact mark or dent (that would suggest a drunk driver, also no big surprise here); clearly, a few young turks just rocked it until it bent over. A few weeks ago in this spot, there was a big fight, so the bedlam is spreading now that the police coverage has been more dispersed. Just another lovely case of vandalism in this the most sought-after neighborhood in the city. No big surprises this morning on Lincoln Avenue.